irritated

secretly i'm irritated.
with you
 by you
everything about you.
ok not everything but like how you are so negative about everything
everything!
even the good stuff!
how you are so cynical about anything.
especially anything new!

ah i can't bring myself to smile at you today.
to look at you and pretend that everything is okay when it's so not.
i'm irritated. but i won't tell you cos you'd just become so defensive.
and then it's vinegar-world for the both of us!

and it's okay to write it here cos i know you won't read this.
and even if you do, you'd never think it was you i am referring to. or do you?

maybe tomorrow i'll be able to smile at you again.
maybe tomorrow.
tomorrow i'll be able to be patient and just love you for who you are.
until tomorrow tho, i just have to keep relying on not myself but him who will hopefully help me to love you.

 on another note. here's a recent pic of g n i :) we went to this vintage fair and i bought these really cool kickass elbow high gloves! LOVE!